Meet my neighbors:

Just in case you’re keeping a tally of all the threatened species I’m sampling over here, I had my first taste of shark last Sunday. Didn’t get to see that one getting butchered, only ate it after the fact. Again, it was delicious. Last addition, my neighbor told me recently that I ate stingray at his house back in January. He says he told me at the time, which I don’t really believe, but is surely possible, especially given how many words still slip by me. I mean he ought to know, he’s the one who speared it. I’ve been hearing more and more stories lately about people eating whale, although mostly from a different island group, so I doubt I’ll be adding that one to the list. Most especially because whales are such an economic resource here, for the tourist business.

I need to write a few more words about this neighbor and his wife, need to pay them their due respect (a tribute!) on the worldwide web space. They are my sanity. Fipe and Isi live right next door to me in ‘Otea. They’re in their late twenties but only have one daughter whom they adopted. They’ve tried really hard to have kids (God bless them – their Mormon church demands it) but no success, something a little damning in Tongan culture, as you might imagine. This, combined with their age, makes them mature enough for us to have great conversations (not true for most of the Tongans my age) but also free enough of responsibilities (only 1 kid instead of 9!) and be able to spend lots of great downtime together. They’ve become my primary language teachers (sometimes we work on English instead), cooking instructors (I’m teaching Fipe how to bake), and everything in between, which of course includes my best Tongan friends. Fipe and I call each other sisters and I eat more meals at their house than my own.

Oh it’s such a good partnership. You may think as you read this, that’s nice. Amy’s making friends. NO! They are much more like my guardian angels in disguise. Something I’ve been missing for a long time I’ve finally found at their house – a place to be myself. We’ve come to know each other well enough that they can tell when my terseness is just because I’m upset and not that I’m trying to be rude to them. They’re comfortable with me just lounging on their floor listening them talk when I’m grumpy and exhausted but just need a break from speaking Tongan. They keep my puppy fed since I don’t farm and fish like they do. They keep me updated on the gossip. They debrief with me after meetings spoken too fast for me to comprehend. They are so good to me and so good for me.

Isi is the good guy friend I’m not allowed to have in Tongan culture, except that I can because he’s married! He’s a jokester and an expert diver and has figured out just how far he can push me in Tonga’s favorite pastime: teasing. Most who know me know this is decidedly not my favorite pastime, something I humbly admit but what can you do? And Fipe has the most open mind of anyone in my village, which is so wonderfully refreshing. I explained to her that I prefer to eat meat only once a day, that it’s better for good health, and lo and behold, she’s adopted that attitude too! I can’t tell you how huge this is!!!! I say these kinds of things all the time in conversation in the hope that it’ll seep through eventually but this is the first time it has! Small victories are my bread and potatoes. How can I experience all the hope and laughter Fipe and Isi and little Tova put back in my life? I am learning entirely new perspectives on the concepts neighbor and family here.